Posted by: Lois Lindemann on: March 26th, 2008 
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The Three Legged Cat presents a sing-along-a-blog-post.
To be sung to the tune of A Day in the Life
With apologies to Messrs Lennon and McCartney…
I read the news today, oh boy
About a lucky place that got a grant
And though the news was rather strange
Well, I just had to laugh
I saw the paragraph
“This is good news for your car
You will notice that the roads have changed”
A crowd of people stood and stared
They’d seen her face before
No-one was really sure if she was a local councillor
I read The Star today, oh boy
Three years* just to pick a contractor
But all the holes are here today
You only have to look
Having had the shock
Of being shaken all around.
Woke up, got out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And looking up, I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
On my bike in seconds flat
Fell over in a hole and wrecked the bike
Bent all the spokes and I went into a scream
Oooooowwwww
I read the news today, oh boy
Few thousand holes in Sheffield, South Yorkshire
And though the holes are rather small**
They’ll have to fill them all
That needs as much Tarmac as it takes to fill the City Hall
You couldn’t make it up
*Three years???!!! How can choosing a contractor take 3 years? I searched tonight’s edition of the local paper for a correction, but it seems that 3 is the magic number…
Round here they’ve just doubled the depth of pothole that needs to exist before they will *consider* filling it. Once upon a time they had a ‘fill a pothole with a postcard’ service (ie send one in and the pothole got filled). Someone even got fined for filling those in their road themself. I despair.