A Mild Shock

Kids these days ‘eh? Those hoodie wearing teenagers just don’t behave the way I used to when I was at school. Frankly their ability to play decent practical jokes is rubbish.

Tricks played on me last term by students:

1. “There’s something on your shirt Miss”
“Only joking ha, ha, ha”
Score: 0 /10

2. Someone opened my classroom door and ran away. Ooh sidesplitting.
Score: 0.5 / 10

3. Someone opened my classroom door, switched the lights off and ran away. The mirth was almost unbearable. Not.
Score: 1 / 10

After the thrilling pathetic classroom door opening prank I felt compelled to inform my Y10 class that their practical jokes were rubbish. Foolishly I also felt compelled to tell them about some of the carefully planned tricks that my mates and I played on our teachers.

They started plotting. I was mildly worried, but weeks passed and I forgot all about it. Obviously they didn’t, they have been observing my little habits, such as the way I almost always forget to pick up my pen when I go to help a student and end up borrowing theirs. They have stored up this little nugget of information in order to catch me out and laugh at my expense.

Today Ken* puts his hand up and says he’s stuck. I go to help him. He looks blank when I explain what he has done wrong, which is surprising; he’s really bright and rarely requires any help at all. I decide to demonstrate, beginning as usual with “Oh sorry, could I just use your pen for a moment.” My pen is still sitting on my desk as usual. I fail to notice that all of Ken’s friends are watching attentively. I fail to notice that the pen’s nib is retracted and I try to write with it. The kids giggle at this. I click the button on the top of the pen and

“Arrrggghhh”

Bloody electric bloody shock bloody trick bloody pen.

Ken and his mates are collapsing with laughter, and so they should be. I walked right into that one.

Kids these days ‘eh? Those hoodie wearing teenagers behave exactly the way I used to when I was at school. Frankly their ability to play decent practical jokes is splendid.

Tricks played on me this week by students:

1. A mildly shocking experience with a pen
Score: 9 /10
Brilliant.

*Obviously not his real name