(Or How Not To Cook)
1. Decide to cook a curry
2. Chop up vegetables
3. Heat some oil in a large pan, then add curry paste
4. Become distracted by a newspaper story which holds no interest whatsoever
5. Allow the kitchen to fill with a generous amount of smoke before returning from the Land of the Temporaily Distracted
6. Notice pungent burning smell
7. Swear
8. Empty pan, taking care to burn fingers
9. Swear
10. Heat some more oil in the pan…