Ways to (inadvertently) make the neighbours think you are stark raving mad

  1. Sing the theme to Dangermouse as loudly as possible whilst dancing wildly (then make a futile attempt to act normally when you notice your new neighbour staring through the window at you).
  2. Grab the slug that your cat has kindly brought home stuck to his back and throw it out of the cat flap just as one of your new neighbours walks past with their shopping.
  3. Forget how early it gets dark and start pruning/gardening ridiculously late in the afternoon. Then stumble about in the gloom pretending that you planned it that way.
  4. Run down the garden late at night wearing a dressing gown and holding a mug containing the live mouse that the increasingly unpopular cat has brought home. While you do this, remember to greet your new neighbours cheerily as they return from a night out clubbing.

Then wonder why your new neighbours seem strangely reluctant to say hello and seem to be avoiding you…

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