Liar, Liar

“I’m not selling anything,” said the man as he handed me a leaflet. About double glazing. From the firm with the most annoying advert ever. Not to mention the infamous reputation for notoriously crap customer service.

“Well,” I thought to myself, “Obviously his pants are on fire.”

Did he sense my disbelief? I doubt it, but just to prove his point, to demonstrate beyond all possible doubt that he really wasn’t going to sell me anything, he followed up his useless opening gambit with an utterly stupid question. “Are you thinking about new windows?”


(I’m sure I was told never to begin a sales pitch with a question that could be answered “No.”)

“Not even at the right price?” he persisted.


The world’s worst (no)salesman stared blankly back at me. I wouldn’t have believed anyone could be this useless at (not) selling anything. Don’t double glazing firms give people any training before launching them out onto the streets?

I handed his leaflet back to him. “Thank you for your time. Goodbye,” I said, politely and without a trace of sarcasm, as I closed the door.

So it turned out that he wasn’t telling lies after all. He was perfectly truthful; he wasn’t selling anything. Not anything at all.

2 comments to Liar, Liar

  • Was it Everest?

    I overheard a conversation today saying that they’d remade an ad from years ago – replacing the original windows they put into the highest(?) pub(?) in England. Apparently they hadn’t applied for planning permission for the solar panels they’d also installed this time around.

  • Very true – it was on our local news programme!

    Twas worse than Everest – it was blooming Safestyle (although I suspect you have been spared their cringeworthy TV ads darn sarf 😉 – I think they are a local menace! )