Mr TLC is reading an old guitar magazine when I get into bed.
“Corduroy Pillars, they’re making headlines,” he says in a slightly sarcastic tone of voice.
I mistakenly assume that this remark does not need a reply, but realise my error when I look up to see Mr TLC staring at me waiting for a reaction.
“Er right,” I manage feebly. “Who are they then?” I ask, mistakenly assuming that Corduroy Pillars are some band that didn’t make it. (Yes, I know, you’re probably way ahead of me here.)
Mr TLC stares at me as if I am mad. “Corduroy Pillars, they’re making headlines,” he says again, slowly and carefully this time.
I still don’t get it. Is this how it feels to be a kid in one of my lessons?
“Who are Corduroy Pillars? Are they a band?” I ask. I immediately regret this, because this question leaves Mr TLC with a look of despair on his face.
“You used to laugh at my jokes,” says Mr TLC, in a sad sort of voice. He picks up a pillow and waves it at me as he says “Corduroy Pillars, they’re making headlines,” for a final time whilst miming lines on his face.
Oh, corduroy pillows. Not pillars. Making headlines. I get it, finally. Mr TLC is shaking his head. I feel like a total idiot.
Sometimes I feel as if Yarkshire is still a strange foreign language, evidently pillow talk is beyond me.
I had to read that about a dozen times before I got it too…