Location, Location, Location

“Where are you from? I mean, where were you born?” he asked.

“I was born in London,” I replied.

“Really?” Now at this point I thought I was going to get one of those ‘I never knew that you were a blooming southerner’ type responses. (The fact that I have resided in the Norf for most of my life appears not to outweigh my apparent negligence in having been born outside of God’s Own County.)

However I was wrong, because in fact my interrogator continued along a most unexpected tack. “I’m from near there.”

“Really? Where are you from then?”


“Er… but… Warrington’s not near London.”

“Yes it is. They are both about two hours from here.”

I was a little lost for words as he went on to explain where London and Warrington are; clearly there was no spatial confusion in his mind. There was however, rather a lot of confusion going on in my mind. This radical new notion of temporal proximity does have a certain logic, but my spatially-blinkered brain was refusing to accept it.

Despite the elegant simplicity of this new world view, I don’t think I’ll be adopting temporal location – not because I am a spatially-minded old stick-in-the-mud, but because I fear this way of thinking would enhance my own personal superpower to dangerously high levels. I am already famed far and wide for my ability to get lost. If I started measuring the world in times, you might never see me again…

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