Of Shoes

Helly was debating how many pairs of shoes she owned the other day. Answer: 67. Wow. Go Helly!

Now I knew my total was a lot less than that, simply because I couldn’t possibly fit 67 pairs of shoes in the rather small Victorian closet that holds most of my apparel.

Mr TLC and I debated this briefly, he thought that he owned 4 pairs and I owned about 15, which seemed like a good estimate, at least until today.

Today I finally dived into the disaster zone that had formed in the bottom of the closest (Black Cat appears to have built a nest on the shelves and tipped everything onto the floor. Gah!) and pulled everything out.

“That question you asked…” said Mr TLC, as he watched me pile up umpty-nine sets of footwear, “I think it’s more than 15”. So I counted.

I own rather a lot of shoes as it turns out:

1 x pair of Welly boots (green)
1 x pair of walking boots
5 x pairs of clean trainers (only one of which is suitable for doing actual sport in, which probably says a lot about me)
1 x pair of disgustingly filthy trainers (very cheap ones, bought to wear whilst doing plastering and decorating and consequently well-splattered with plaster and paint)
5 x pairs of flip-flops (ranging from cheap blue plastic ones from Woolworths, to ridiculously girly ones with sequins and fake jewels) Five pairs? I thought there were two. Oops. How did that happen?
1 x pair sandals (which I had forgotten about)
2 x pairs mules (which I almost never wear, on account of the fact that snails overtake me when I walk in them)
4 x pairs boots (2 smart enough for school – although the pair with the small heel invariably get passed over in favour of the flats, 1 pair of wannabe Timberlands, 1 pair of wannabe Doc Martins. Yes, I am a cheapskate.)
1 x pair mens’ black shoes (bought in desperation – I have big feet (size 10) and I need flat shoes for school. I hated these when I bought them, but the one shop that sells girly shoes for the huge of hoof was only doing heels that year. My hideous mens’ shoes are flat. And they were cheap. And I wore them a lot until I found something better.)
1 x pair flat black pumps (bought so that I can wear a skirt at school. I never wear a skirt at school.)
1 x pair ridiculous purple satin things with gold beads (I must have been drinking before I bought those. What was I thinking?)
2 x pairs of fabulously OTT high-heeled shoes which only appear at weddings, Christenings and other occasions when I don’t actually need to walk far. Or fast.)

25 pairs! Good grief. That’s rather a lot.

For the record Mr TLC clocks in at a far more modest 7 pairs. It’s a shame we have different sized feet, or he could have shared some of mine. Especially the purple satin ones, I think he’d look great in those. 🙂

2 comments to Of Shoes

  • WOW, nice going! I’ve much less than you, but I cheat cos I share sandles with my mum!

  • three-legged-cat

    Just a polite message:

    I’ve deleted a couple of comments from this thread. These weren’t really comments on this post, they were promoting a link to a site that sells shoes.

    Why did I delete them? You will have noticed that I don’t carry advertising on this blog, so comments that are basically adverts don’t fit with that at all. Obviously I’m very happy to receive genuine comments – whether I agree with them or not.

    To avoid any confusion in future, a comment about comments will appear in the sidebar shortly!