The Doors

What did you do on the 30th September 1989?

I bought a door. Nothing special, just a new door for my office – a replacement for the old one that was distinctly broken and didn’t really fit. I really wanted to buy a door for the bathroom as well – because it’s right next to my office and I wanted the doors to match – but I was a bit skint at the time, so even though I only paid £10, I decided to wait.

I’m obviously very patient, because I seem to have waited for nearly 20 years. Good grief.

Finally, a couple of weeks ago, Mr TLC and I decided to go mad and replace the bathroom door. Well, it was was distinctly broken and didn’t really fit. I delved into my files, found the one marked ‘Doors’ and produced the 20 year-old receipt for the office door. Then I announced my intention to go back to the shop and try to buy another one in the same design.

Sometimes Mr TLC thinks I’m mad. Sometimes he’s absolutely sure of it!


“Twenty years ago,” said the man in the door shop, in a wistful kind of way, “I think I still had hair then.”

“You hear about people who keep these things for 20 years,” said Mr TLC (who seemed to be somewhat amazed at my peculiar behaviour), “but you don’t expect to actually meet one of them.”

“They stopped making that design about 15 years ago,” the man in the door shop informed us.

I looked disappointed. Mr TLC had the air of a man who had known all along that this crazy plan would never work.

“I think I’ve still got one upstairs though.”

And he had. Result!

“Is it still £10?”

“Oh, I’m sure it’s at least twice that,” replied my favourite door man, before charging me £8, because it was ever-so-slightly scuffed (and I think he was glad to finally get rid of it).

Sometimes Mr TLC thinks I’m mad. Sometimes I’m absolutely sure of it! But I tell you what, that door looks great.

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